i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
In other news, I’ve officially fucked a grandpa.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
