You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
