Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Randomize
