Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
