Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Randomize
