Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What drink are we having for lunch?
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
