yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Randomize
