In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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