I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Randomize
