So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my dad just said 'either you're lying about your plans tonight or you kids are really lame nowadays'. maybe we should nix the singles saturday slumber party and go to a bar.
You texted the wrong number but that's probably the best call you'll ever make.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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