North Korea, Best Korea!
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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