there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
she gave him a mild concussion from throwing him against the wall in an attempt to dance with him. gotta love monday nights at the sandbar.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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