you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
handjobs have no place on a baseball diamond
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
