five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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