my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Actions speak louder than pants.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize