you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She just sent me a message. It's a poem, about eternal love, that she wrote, about us. Just because I took her home two nights - doesn't mean it's eternal love.
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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