did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
