just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize
