Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
