Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
That's totally the Emoji for "just ran into some girl who knows I know she had an abortion"
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
