I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Breakfast tacos?
YOU ARE A FOUNTAIN OF GREAT IDEAS
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
