Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I skipped work to stalk him.
I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
