I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
Seriously, why do I have a mortar round?
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
