I feel like I'm in dance class right now
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Randomize
