He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
