i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Randomize
