people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I’m pregaming Christmas shopping with grandma. What’s up?
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Randomize
