Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
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