the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
I need moral support for this bender
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
Randomize
