I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
