dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
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