Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
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