I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
