1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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