Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It's the first day of summer. It's not a race it's a marathon. Pace yourself
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize