Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Do you have feelings for this penis?
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize