OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Randomize
