drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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