I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Randomize
