thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
