is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
Know what's awesome? Flying a mini helicopter while you shit.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Randomize
