why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
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