your parents love me but you hate me
brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
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