I CAN MOONWALK!
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Randomize
