jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
