Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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