I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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