My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
I put a bagel at the end of my bed so every time I want a bite I have to do a sit up
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Randomize
