I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
