Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
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