if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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