Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Randomize
