I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
