Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
