So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
just spent $80 on an im sorry breakfast from mcdonalds for everyone sleeping in my apartment for being a drunkass and locking everyone out of the apartment at 2am.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
A bitchslap is in order.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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