Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Nope, sorry. Already took my bra off. All down hill from here. My next act will be crying, singing, and eating girl scout cookies in the shower. You can come watch the shit show though.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Why does my therapist keep calling when I jerk off?
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
